When interview questions get too personal

2012-04-23
From: MSN Careers
Sure, it is an interviewer’s job to gather information about someone who wants to be hired. But when questions veer into matters that have little to do with an applicant’s ability to perform the job at hand, things can get uncomfortable. Here, experts and job seekers who have been there offer diplomatic ways to steer a nosy interviewer back on course.
Off-limit topics
quotSome of the questions I’ve been asked at job interviews include age, religion, questions about my husband, more than a casual interest in what I do outside of work and my political affiliations,quot says Janis Badarau ofSouth Carolina. quotWhenever an interviewer has asked such a question, my polite response has always been the same: ‘I’m afraid that if I answer that question I might be violating some kind of law.’quot
While she reports having received a smile from more than one interviewer with this response, the fact remains that employers are not supposed to venture into certain areas.
quotThe basic illegal interview questions are ones based on religion, marital status, parenthood status andhealth issues,quot says Linda Matias,presidentof CareerStrides, a reacutesumeacute-writing service, and author of quot201 Knockout Answers to Tough Interview Questions.quot quotOftentimes when interviewers ask a question that is off-limits, their intention isn’t to offend or alienate. Usually, they have a hidden concern and ask the wrong question to uncover whether or not their concern is justified.quot
On-track responses
Thinking about why an interviewer may have asked a question can help an applicant formulate a suitable response that eases worries without divulging unnecessary personal information.
quotYou should never point-blank refuse to answer a question, because the refusal itself will be construed as a ‘red flag,’quot says Patrice Rice, author of quotHow to Interviewquot and president of therecruiting firmPatrice amp Associates inDunkirk, Md. quotEither the employer will think you are confrontational or that you are hiding something. There are ways to handle questions without actually refusing to answer.quot
A few to try:

middot quotI have been working since I was 18 years old, and I have never allowed any personal relationship to interfere with my job. I have great references.quot

middot quotI would prefer to tell you more about my transferable job skills. What else would you like to know about my skills?quot

middot quotThat’s a question I’ve never been asked before in an interview because it is so personal. Perhaps you can explain why you asked it and what kind of information you really want.quot

Reconsidering your candidacy
Erin Farrell Talbot ofNew York City, owner of afreelance consultingbusiness, was taken aback when a prospective client said he didn’t want to hire someone who would become pregnant — and then proceeded to ask if she was planning to have any more children. Though she politely told him she would quottake what God gives me and go from there,quot he persisted. Talbot finally told him, quotI am a three-dimensional person with many aspects to who I am besides just a worker, and if that question or discussion comes up again, I’ll resign from consideration.quot She landed the job.
quotPersonal questions are asked by unskilled interviewers,quot says Ralph Neal,vice presidentofeducational services at Employers Resource Association, anonprofitserving small and medium businesses inOhio,KentuckyandIndiana. quotThis may tell you a bit about the professionalism of the company. Keep that in the back of your mind as you progress through the interview process, and pay close attention to help determine if the company as a whole is unprofessional or simply has a ‘rogue’ manager who needs interview-skills training.quot
Richard Deems, acareer coachand co-author of quotMake Job Loss Work for You,quot adds, quotIf the candidate thinks a question was asked on purpose, and that the organization often asks personal kinds of interview questions, then we advise our clients to quickly think through if they really want to work for that kind of an organization. We coach our candidates to say something like, ‘That’s a very personal question and has no relevance to the position or my abilities to do the job very well.’ Then stop. If the interviewer persists, we suggest the candidate end the interview and leave.quot
A final thing Deems recommends after an inappropriate interview: sending a letter to the company’sCEO. Respectable organizations aren’t out to make anyone feel uncomfortable, and giving a heads-up to a higher-up may make a difference in how candidates are treated.

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